he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
