Betty ford says i'm here all night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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