Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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