my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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