i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I could make wine with my vomit
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
