Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Someone shit on the floor
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize