Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
