I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
