he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
