I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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