i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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