he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
