Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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