Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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