cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
