If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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