Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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