i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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