5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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