I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
