you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
