That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
