peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
