why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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