I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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