fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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