think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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