Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never let your siblings swipe right.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
