Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
