The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
