Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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