This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
