i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
