weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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