he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
