is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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