If i need to get strippers involved i will.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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