I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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