Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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