I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
