My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
