kristin has been a bad kristin
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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