Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
