It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
