Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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