Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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