if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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