after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this will be a night to untag.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
