I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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