so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
