put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
