am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
