i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
