This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
