wakey wakey hands off snakey
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
