Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
