Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize