I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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