The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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