if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
